7 Tips for Practicing Self-Compassion

Self-compassion means being kind to yourself when you’re feeling down. It helps you cope better with difficult situations and gives you the strength to move forward. This article explores 7 tips to help you practice self-compassion.

1. Take a deep breath.

Pausing when you feel uncomfortable feelings or experiencing something unsettling is a good first step. This allows you to pause and respond rather than to react. If we react, we may say or do something we can’t take back. Taking a breath allows us to examine the situation and how we want to respond.

2. Start by Acknowledging What’s Happening.

Examine what is making you feel that way. What is happening? Was there a specific situation? Is it because you’re worried about something at work? Are you having trouble getting along with your family? Maybe you’re just not sleeping well. Whatever the cause, figure out what is the source of discomfort. Once you understand the root of your problem, you’ll be able to make better decisions about how to handle it.

Next, you want to note how you’re feeling. Are you stressed, anxious, worried, or other negative emotion? Identify which emotions you are feeing then acknowledge those feelings. It’s as simple as saying, “I am feeling misunderstood.” Accept what you are feeling by saying, “I am feeling stressed (or insert other emotion here) and it’s okay that I am feeling this way.” 

3. Remind yourself that this too shall pass.

If you’re struggling with uncomfortable situations, it might seem like nothing will ever go away. That’s normal. It’s part of healing. Remind yourself that things will eventually improve when you feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts. This simple act of self-kindness can help you cope with difficult situations more effectively.

I like to ask myself, “Will I remember this a year from now? 5 years?” It helps me to put things in perspective. I can also flip that and ask myself if I remember how I felt 5 years ago. Most often, we can’t. Moments are fleeting and we forget that. We remember the big moments and often not too many of the details.

4. Try to see the situation from another perspective.

You can practice self-compassion by thinking about how you would treat other people. Would you give them advice? Offer support? Would you just let them be? Being able to answering these questions will help you with steps 5 and 6. 

5. Comfort Yourself

Take the perspective you gained in four and apply it to you. We practice self-compassion when we say the things we would say to other. Take that compassion and turn it inwards. 

I often tell my clients, speak to yourself as if you are speaking to a child. We wouldn't say it to a child. So stop it! We need to speak to ourselves like a child would. We have an inner child who needs to be healed, comforted, and soothed. Soothe yourself either with words or other coping skills.

6. Be Your Hype Person

We look for validation and encouragement from others. Why can’t we do it for ourselves? Our inner critic gets the best of us and stops us. The inner critic should sit down and watch as you do amazing things. The best hype person we will ever have in our lives is ourselves. Hype it up. Say it in the mirror, dance it out, or yell it! Just believe in you and hype it up.

7. Practice Mindfulness

We often think of mediation practices when we hear the word mindfulness. We hear little about being non-judgmental as a mindful skill. Non-judgmental thinking is a large part of the mindful process. We are so critical of ourselves thanks to that pesky inner critic. We can quiet our thoughts and learn to accept rather than to judge through mindfulness.

Things to Remember

The act of being kind to you is self-compassion. If you fight through your inner critic, no one can be nicer to you. You may need to take a break to find your center. Honor and accept your emotions as they are without judgement. Judgement impacts self-compassion on so many levels. 

If you struggle with self-compassion and inner child work, seek a mental health professional to help guide you on your path. I am currently accepting new clients in Oklahoma. Click here to schedule a free consultation. 

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Disclaimer: This is in no way a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or substance abuse/mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. Reading this blog or responding to it does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. If you are looking for a local mental health professional feel free to use the contact tab to request an appointment or search Mental Health Match, Therapy Den, or Psychology Today for local therapists in your area. If this is a mental health or substance abuse emergency and you need immediate assistance, please call 911, call 988, go to your local ER, visit your local detox center, or call 211 if you are in Oklahoma.